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The Reviewer
(satire)

A short story about a mentally unstable Indie-Author, his daily routine on social media, and the review that destroys his life..

Great Story!
Well written short story. Great bed time read in between novels. Will read more from this author in the future
— JK

Thrilling short story with shocking ending.
If you enjoy short stories and revenge thriller type genres you should give this book a read. It is exciting yet suspenseful, and witty yet dark. — O.D. Book Reviews

MORE REVIEWS

The Reviewer
Waiting on Death Row in a Ukrainian prison is no picnic, rest assured. The stench, the filth, the bugs, rats, and the other inmates, in that order. Surprisingly, the food was pretty good: a slice of whole-grain bread and some kind of goulash, or was it gulag?
It was a little like living through DOA, the movie; and I spent endless hours in my cell trying to decide if I was more of an Edmond O’Brien or a Dennis Quaid. Who had murdered me? The Reviewer. His weapon of choice? A pen, a poisoned pen.
Okay, well, it worked out in the end. Some months later my smiling lawyer who didn’t seem to speak a word of English got the death sentence commuted. Instead, I was exiled to a small village a couple of kilometers outside of Chernobyl. A car ride, a blindfold, a generous three days of rations, and a bow and arrow— a quiver of arrows— to be fair. Now, that’s what I call a justice system…

I should probably take a step back and explain how all this began. Like most things, a choice is at the heart of it, my choice to become a writer. And don’t let anyone tell you the life of an indie-author is easy. It’s not. I say that from experience. I was hard at work on my genre-bending opus. This one is going to be a winner. How could it go wrong? A surefire best-seller. Zombies,Vampires, Werewolves, Aliens, and Robots from the future, set in a post-apocalyptic Middle-Earth.
Did I mention wizards? — Ha, my main character is that, and he’s so real, readers are likely to buy him a cup of coffee by the end of the book. Of course, there’s also a steamy love triangle between Zog and Pallas, and Jim. Well, I might edit that bit out for the YA version.
I’ve already had some success with my non-fiction, notably, The Paleolithic Gourmet, and I quote, “an incredible cookbook filled with sumptuous recipes for the cave-conscious neanderthal…” or, “authentic stone-tool fare…” and, “Denisovans Rejoice! Eating has never been so much fun since the invention of fire.”
That little masterpiece sold sixty-two copies over at Smashwords. Admittedly, it didn’t go over on the Nook so much, and I think it all has to do with the B&N editor’s 2-star review, who found it “…pretentious and poorly-researched…”

click for an excerpt!